A Poem to my Rapist – Part 2

I quickly learnt to be passive

Laid motionless, accepted my fate

Wondering what the hell drove you

It seemed neither love nor hate

 

Remember the time I gave in and cried at the end?

Laid shaking and wailing on the floor

You told me it was unattractive behaviour

Shook your head as you walked out the door!

 

Were you nervous? Think I’d tell?

Or could you ignore my cries and yells?

Utterly tired of living an illusion

Tried to be stoic through all the confusion

 

Weaned me off your flattery drip

Shrivelled with criticism and pain

Perpetual loathing, feeling numb

Terror ensured I remained dumb

 

Of course you hurt me every time

Tried not to let it show

Swallowed it up like everything else

And just wished that you’d go

 

But you didn’t go, you simply kept on

Time after time after time

You wouldn’t back down, which left me no choice:

The breakdown had to be mine

 

Bereft of respect, full of self-loathing

Stopped trying to work out why

My mind was confused without its soul

I actually thought I would die

 

Didn’t know how to escape from

The revolting way that you behaved

Neither of us banked on a miracle

But fate intervened, and I was saved

 

My time hadn’t come

My soul wasn’t yours

I choose to speak out

Fear holds me no more

 

I hope with my heart that men like you

Are humanity’s dying breed

Get help, recover and stop it right now

Truth and love are what we need

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