There are 3 of us: me, my son and my daughter who are both junior school age. We’re a great trio. We have a house with 3 bedrooms, I’m good at making meals for 3, and we have plenty of games that involve all 3 of us.
Parenting is a tough gig. Doing it alone can be harder. But doing it alone whilst sustaining abusive attacks from the other parent has at times been unbearable!
So, what’s the antidote when you’re on the receiving end of persistent parental alienation? How have I got through it?
Well, there is little that can be done about an abuser who refuses to change and who just about operates within the confines of never being caught by the law, so I find the best way to counteract it all is to think over all the good things that happen, the truth of the situation.
I wrote out a list of 10 things that are good things making up our current reality that we all love: –
- Playing Dobble (if you don’t have it, get it!)
- Playing consequences
- Living in a household where we actively try to have positive communication
- Loads of cuddles, just generally, and especially when watching TV together, reading books or at bed time
- Dancing in the kitchen together
- Going to the beach which is 15 mins from our house. Digging, building, paddling, rock pooling, all on the doorstep…. Ahh
- Lots of playing out in the back garden together (no fitness routine? Hire my kids!)
- Pretending to speak Chinese and French at bath time – or magic tricks in the bath
- Stories at bed time. Preferably with silly voices.
- Foot or shoulder massages at bed time followed by magical sleeps
10 things that really don’t help when you’re a parent on the end of an attack of parent alienation:
- Mulling it over until you feel down
- Asking myself whether you’re to blame
- Asking why this is happening (no answer)
- Feeling like this will never end
- Getting sucked into their nonsensical malicious lies
- Re-reading their malicious communications
- Having external agencies involved who do nothing
- Turning to alcohol
- Not sleeping
- Moaning about it to other people